The Day After Yesterday
Here's what my mom had to say about the whole thing in an email I just received:
"Dear Derek, sorry about your loss. Your loss is my loss. You should have taken a tip from the little guy from Shawinigan and bought some logoed golf balls. Also i could have given you some tips from my experience as a youth communist although i did not get anyone elected. But i learned from that. losing sux but now you have more time to focus on you know what. dad and I still love you even though you are a loser you are not a loser to us although you are a loser.luv mom x
ps i am no longer a ''red'' and no longer use the alias Natasha"
posted by db at 1:24 PM
39 Comments:
dear avid reader:
you really want some funny stuff, ask derek about the other emails he gets from his mom. especially the ones with song lyrics relating to his manliness. its mildly amusing.
also, what's the deal with provan's serious anger management issues? who let that boy off his meds?
5:00 PM
Yea is provan going to be ok?
5:37 PM
well...
see you guys monday.
5:58 PM
I think Chris was justified in his angry rant. The fact is that Queens students are just too lazy or busy to care about elections. Either that or they think that all the teams are the same and not one will make any difference in their own lives. Sad to say these students probably didn't even give your team a chance when it's clear that you actually would of had the balls to make some changes in this system. Anyway, I'm sorry for you guys but way more sorry for the students who don't know or care. Hope Provan lets go and feels better soon.
6:06 PM
yea, except that you didn't really propose any changes... or anything really, other than Tony's Cuts. I mean don't get me wrong, I think you guys are great and super funny and witty, and you've clearly got very impressive backgrounds given your involvement in engsoc and clark and what not, and i also totally get that you were making a farce of the farce that is the election process, but as a voter, it was unclear to me whether or not you guys were in this as a joke or to win...
6:15 PM
oh god. we can talk about "what if's", or "what could have been's", or "whodunit's" till our "speak silance" notepads have worn down. What's important here is that Khaki Snack is as funny as ever on Monday night. Here's what I'll remember most about my university experience: Hating tuesday mornings.
6:47 PM
Proposed Changes:
We want to put cameras EVERYWHERE in the AMS offices. Maybe even our homes.
You know what Alfie’s needs? Us to throw more money into it, of course. Also, a name more fitting of its ‘hole-in-the-ground’ status. Like Alfie’s Bombshelter. Or WOW COUCHES WOW!! Or Molson’s presents Alfie’s Molsonotorium…in partnership with Bombay Sapphire…but mostly Molson.
Do you jog? Have you never used Walkhome? Then you’re sort of like us! I bet the reason for this is because Walkhome needs to be overhauled, and renamed Joghome. Our services need to be able to keep up with today’s fast paced student lifestyle. And also, I want to start jogging but can’t find anyone to do it with.
Queen’s needs a Barber Shop quartet singing telegram service.
Less Necrophilia on campus (17%)
Bathroom Attendants in JDUC
An organized, accessible, and easy to use archive of CFRC programming (this shouldn't be a joke but it is)
Tony's cuts
Wok Home
Wok & Roll Home
Names in QUeen Centre
Queen's Gold Plated Walk of Fame (feat. guy from "ed")
Get our food services on wheels.
Rename Coffee sizing at Common Ground
More Common Grounds
Buying houses in the Ghetto (every house)
...that's a short list.
For more proposed changes and improvements to Queen's, check out www.studio.tv, www.queensjournal.com, www.goldenwords.net.
Hopefully the new administration won't disregard these ideas. They aren't theirs, but they're damn good. Nonono, they're not good. They're NECESSARY.
6:47 PM
"Here's what I'll remember most about my university experience: Hating tuesday mornings"
TESTIFY!!!!!!
6:48 PM
"Here's what I'll remember most about my university experience: Hating tuesday mornings"
I'll second that. Monday nights are the highlight of my week.
7:16 PM
provan's great.
and moreover, he's RIGHT.
the fact that none of the teams this year had a bright thought in their heads is disappointing. it was a challenge of mediocrity.
i also have seriously problems believing 40% of students picked one team as their number one pick - that's shocking considering there were five.
11:16 PM
I'm pretty amazed at how angry Chris was about losing an election he was simply "making a farce of". If you wanted to run seriously, you should have done so. Otherwise, be happy that you were deemed hilarious and don't be such a whiny, confused sore loser.
1:26 AM
Oh Provan- what happened? You guys seem pretty on the ball; if you wanted to run a serious campaign and implement your own changes, go the fuck ahead. But take a cue from HHW and don't embarrass yourself by ranting and raving AFTER another team wins. Everyone thought you guys had brilliantly accomplished your goal of being insanely funny- why would you just fuck that up by deciding "no-wait... I didn't actually run a serious campaign and therefore was not subject to any of the scrutiny that other teams were, but despite that I think I'll point out some bitter complaints and spoil the great reputation my team had acquired." Oust him Derek. He drags you down.
1:41 AM
In regards to the article in the Journal, we wanted to go down in flames, and I feel we ended the camapaign on the best note ever. It was hilarious they printed any of it. You should see the stuff they couldn't print!
As for Chris's drunken ranting- I don't care, we're not an election team anymore! He can clean up his own mess. I stand by anything I personally have said though. Anyway since we weren't trying to win, we didn't really suffer a defeat. I don't think we need to be humbled or anything...and the stuff we were making fun of hasn't all been fixed, so expect more tomfoolery.
Or maybe not, I'm pretty tired.
But yeah, Provan's attacks may seem personal, but he's a big stupid idiot! He got kicked out of stages for taking his pants off! Anyhow, at least he signed his name.
CIAO MEIN!
LOVE DEREK
PS Also, I was unaware about Shiva's wang size -tell me more!
4:24 AM
ALSO, chris has never been in a cool band. Get your facts straight.
Anyway, I got rid of his stuff that bothered me. But I left comparing FlexDollars @ Common ground to Jurassic Park 2. Funny AND true!
4:54 AM
Chris - this one's directed at you - do you even know Venus???? I have the pleasure of knowing him quite well, and he is one of the most wonderful, genuine, sweet, nice, caring...people I know. I feel honoured just by knowing him! Shame on you for you attack on him! As for Dave and Derek - you guys were classy all the way - great work! Your participation in the ams race was appreciated by everyone. I'm really hoping Chris' rant was just a drunken rant and not a personal attack as it seemed - Chris - if you wanted to win - do better than grease stained pizza boxes - you have no right to be bitter. Don't dis people you don't even know!!!!!!!! You were funny and respected - you lost my respect with your rant - I'm not impressed! Perhaps you should think more before you let what's in your brain come out of your mouth (fingers[typing]). Derek - good work trying to cover for Chris' ass hole comments - you did the best you could. I still love that I could be somewhat involved in your campaign, all the best for you all for the future. I'll see you guys in Clark I guess.
5:08 AM
I thought Provan was just going with the bitter loser joke. Why is it that everyone is taking him seriously now, but no one did during the election?
12:20 PM
Personal attacks aren't funny. Hard not to take them seriously. The attacks aren't even at me - Chris dosn't know me (and I don't know Chris) but even I'm offended.
1:28 PM
I think the bitter loser joke was executed quite well by Derek and Dave, who were funny. Blaming a loss on humorous reasons or calling someone a "tyrant" are exagerated enough to be recognizably light-hearted. Personal attacks on winning-team members are petty and sad.
-AL
2:26 PM
The "person in question" doesn't have the opportunity to defend himself, as he is unaware of this online forum for Provan's insults. While everyone seems to enjoy Derek, Dave and the BMP campaign in general, Chris' comments really weren't funny. Although we're just "dumb Queen's students", we can recognize sarcasm and joke campaigns as opposed to angry insults. If Provan doesn't want to be attacked in return, he shouldn't be providing this handy campaign blog. Now I'm going to assume by your attitude and spelling that you yourselves are not Queen's students, so you may not have noticed that the one team who didn't even claim to want to win the election is the one logging angry complaints against members of RHM. I suggest Chris take a look at what he's doing to the previously unanimous adoration of Khaki Snack/team BMP by Queen's students, and maybe deal with his personal problems through a more private venue.
3:59 PM
My favourite thing about kevan is that I bet he's supposed to be selling insurance as he types. Keep up the good work buddy! You gonna play with us again soon?
4:45 PM
Can everyone please post a letter from their mother here? We've got so off topic. Kevan, why don't you get the ball rolling, followed by anonymous.
4:56 PM
awwwwwwww!
9:16 PM
Dear Chris Provan,
are you mad about my affiliations? would it be better if i didn't come on monday? -3ams1
12:21 AM
While bmp is certainly the authority on humour, I don't think we can be blamed for "missing the point"... there was a pretty stark contrast between the journal interview and the blog entries- but I'll admit that a blog allows much more through than a written interview. Either way, campaign teams and their ideas are fair game, but it's good to know there's no insulting intent where individual candidates are concerned. As for the fickle game of politics, my first exposure to Chris Provan was the angry entry, and since I didn't think it was part of the bmp bitter act, I was pretty surprised/angry in return. So now I'm just going to sit back and not try to figure that boy out because it's been futile and the entries in question seem to be gone anyway, which is much appreciated.
-AL
p.s. 3ams1 is hot and you'd be a fool to back out- a fool!
1:37 AM
And rumour has it that 3ams1 is a good kisser!!
3:14 AM
ohkay, so see how provan's comments are from 5.30 in the morning? yea. you know where i was? passed out on derek's couch. but provan was there earlier. then he left. BUT for some reason, he decided to not wake me, despite the fact that i live next door to him and as such were both going in the same direction.
thanks alot chris. i thought we were friends.
12:37 PM
cheesecake & apple sauce, or cheesecake. also applesauce, cause i'm kinda sketch on the two together.
also, provan, me sorry. apparently you did try to wake me.
chili for breakfast is good.
3:16 PM
But I did sign my name! AL is the only name people here know me by... plus my full name is stupid
:( Also, this is my first experience with the world of "blogs" and I don't know how to use them (it?)... I think 3ams1 has to go to the V-day show b/c now people are starting to get curious. I told myself I wouldn't put any more entries into this thing- and now I can't stop checking it (sadface again).
AL
4:28 PM
Good use of emoticon, then DESCRIBING the same emoticon to avoid redundancy. For serious, that was well played.
4:52 PM
Awww, pixie! Yea, given that it is valentine's day, i was tempted to just stay home and hot box my walk in closet if provan wasn't up for meeting me, but I'll come meet you instead! we seem to share the same views on jenn hirano's awesomeness. -3ams1
5:01 PM
Wow,
I just read Provan's post ‘bitter rant’ blog. I am one of the guilty people too quick to judge before giving Provan a chance to explain his blogging intentions. Although I still think some of the things said should have been left unsaid, it is clear now that the intent was not to offend. I, furthermore, want to commend Provan on his attitude toward St. Valentine’s day – it’s almost as though he is a representative of us single ‘hopeless about love’ types – we need as much representation as possible. That’s all I have to say about that.
6:30 PM
hopeless about love types:
If there's going to be any inebriated movie-watching among you guys on the 14th (alone or in groups), it HAS to be Edward Scissorhands. And it's not just the whole "at least I don't have scissors for hands even if I am alone" thing- it goes way beyond that.
AL
11:22 PM
Euuuuuuuuh, Jo-ay?
12:00 AM
Ssssssmmmmoke.
12:15 AM
50 comment anniversary! awwwww!
1:14 AM
Jenn Hirano is great indeed! Have fun Monday night, I have to go to Toronto so I can't make it.
Cheers,
Kaz
5:54 PM
Kaz! you're not going to be here for Vday? :( Boo-urns. Well don't worry, I'll keep Jenn company -A.
6:57 PM
Someone watch out for Jenn or she'll be snatched away!! Kaz come home!
11:14 PM
northridge chong merrimack judges exceed ulpbr worldweather lwfp underscores celebrating picks
lolikneri havaqatsu
4:55 AM
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